Family law is full of myths that can create unnecessary confusion and stress during an already difficult time. At our firm, we often hear the same misconceptions repeated by clients when they are first navigating separation. Below, we clear up some of the most common misunderstandings.

Misconception 1: “We need to file paperwork to be considered separated.”

Not true. In British Columbia, separation begins when at least one spouse decides that the relationship is over and begins living as though it is over. There is no requirement to file documents with the court or sign formal papers to “make it official.” What matters is the intention to separate and the way both spouses conduct themselves moving forward.

Misconception 2: “We can’t be separated if we’re still living together.”

False. Many couples separate while continuing to live under the same roof for financial or parenting reasons. The key is whether you are living separate lives, such as sleeping in different rooms, handling finances independently, and no longer presenting yourselves as a couple. The law recognizes that separation is possible even without physically moving out.

Misconception 3: “If I prove adultery, I don’t need to deal with property or support.”

Not quite. While adultery or cruelty may be grounds for divorce, they do not erase the need to resolve issues such as parenting arrangements, child support, or division of property. These matters are dealt with under the Family Law Act and remain essential parts of the separation process, regardless of fault.

Misconception 4: “We have to go to court to be separated.”

False. Most separations are resolved outside of court. Couples often use negotiation, mediation, or collaborative law to reach agreements on parenting, property, and support. Court is usually a last resort when other methods fail.

Misconception 5: “Separation automatically means divorce.”

Not true. Separation and divorce are two different legal steps. You can be separated without ever divorcing (for example, if neither spouse remarries). A divorce is only granted by the court, and only after spouses have been separated for at least one year (except in cases of adultery or cruelty).