Family Mediation is a useful tool to resolve a variety of family disputes without having to adopt the adversarial and costly processes of the traditional court system.
It is the process by which a neutral third party, the “Family Mediator,” assists people to resolve their dispute and reach a voluntary settlement of matters of issue between them relating to their marriage, cohabitation, separation, or divorce.
Consider the following 10 tips when preparing for family mediation to ensure you reap the most benefit out of this approach:
1. Agreement Between the Parties
One of the essential steps when considering family mediation is ensuring that the other party is amenable to accept such an approach.
While the benefits of mediation are extensive, the other party may not wish to commence mediation to resolve the family disputes.
It is advisable to encourage them to read more about the process of mediation before giving a firm answer.
2. Know Your Issues to Settle and Goals to Meet
As mentioned above, family mediation is used to come to voluntary settlements in family matters such as separation, divorce, cohabitation, and marriage.
Other issues include communication issues between the parties, spousal support, child support, division of property, child custody, etc.
To ensure that all your issues to discuss and your goals to achieve are covered in mediation, it is a good idea to write them down.
This will ensure that nothing is left out or forgotten during mediation, thus, resulting in a complete and satisfying settlement.
3. Select a Family Mediator
Selecting a family mediator is an important consideration to ensure that all parties involved have a successful experience.
Begin by making a list of potential mediators and then setting up a quick phone call or a meeting with them to discuss your family matter.
While it is an advantage to select a mediator that you like, know that mediators are an impartial third party who do not choose sides. They are trained professionals to assist the parties in understanding each others’ perspectives and reach a settlement.
4. Gather Relevant Documents
To get a head start in mediation, gather the relevant information that pertains to your list of issues and goals.
For example, if the main issue during mediation is division of family property, it is a good idea to bring financial statements, credit card statements, loan statements, and other relevant documents to your mediation session.
5. Meet with the Mediator Separately
An important element of mediation is for both parties to meet (separately) with the mediator before the first session.
This assists the mediator in getting to know the parties and pin down the primary issue(s) to discuss during the mediation session.
6. Present Your Position Effectively
Mediation is about presenting your position in a way that is clear and concise to the mediator as well as the other party.
If you are unable to explain your perspective, it will be difficult for you to achieve a desired settlement.
To avoid miscommunication, practice presenting your position in an effective manner before your mediation session.
7. Listen to the Other Party
Given that it may not be easy to pour your heart out in front of the other party and the mediator, listen carefully to the other party’s wishes and goals.
If you show respect and understanding towards their dialogue, it is likely that the other party will do the same when it is your turn to speak.
This approach will give maximum results while keeping the costs of the mediation low.
8. Be Receptive
In the course of mediation, you may be in disagreement with some things that are said and heard.
If both parties remained steadfast in their positions, reaching a settlement will be difficult.
Therefore, to obtain successful results, keep an open mind and try to understand the other party’s views.
This may enable the other party to try to understand your position, thus facilitating an agreement.
9. Put Your Agreement in Writing
Once an agreement is reached, the mediator may assist the parties to put it in writing. The parties may also get their lawyers to draft an agreement which reflects the settlement reached in mediation.
Whether an agreement is drafted by a mediator or a lawyer, it is a good idea to have one as, once signed by all parties, it can generally be enforced in courts.
10. Cost of Mediation
Lastly, depending on the number of issues to discuss in mediation, the cost of your mediation sessions can easily accumulate. It is important that you are realistic about your financial circumstances and choose a mediator that you can reasonably afford.
M.J. O’Nions, Lawyer & Mediator, is a qualified family law mediator and a family law lawyer who has many years of experience in resolving family disputes through mediation. Contact us at 604-449-7779 to find out if mediation is right for you.