Conflict of any kind can be stressful, frustrating, and damaging to the emotional well-being and health of a person. More is at stake when the conflict involves spouses or common law partners, and children. Therefore, it becomes all the more important to search for ways to combat the effects of a conflict before it proves to be detrimental to your and your family’s overall well-being.
Types of Family Conflicts
Family conflicts can range in intensity from the type of arguments almost all spouses have, even those in happy and successful relationships, to violent incidents that put family members in harm. It is important to evaluate and be honest about the level of conflict in your relationship and its impacts on other family members including children. This is an important first step to resolving your family dispute, as it could signal the need for you and/or your spouse to obtain counselling, but it may also inform you and your lawyer of the family conflict resolution technique that is most appropriate in your case.
Causes of family conflict
Depending on the length of the relationship, the causes of family conflict can be deep-rooted. The most common causes of family conflict include mistrust between spouses, poor communication between spouses, challenges with parenting and disagreements about parenting techniques, difficulty self-managing emotions, financial hardship, and a history of family abuse or violence. While we are here to help you navigate your way through your legal challenges, we recommend a professional counsellor to assist you with addressing the root causes of your family conflict. Often times, individuals are unwilling to compromise on the terms of a separation because they cannot move past disagreements or ways they felt they were hurt during the relationship. Seeing a counsellor can help resolve or alleviate these conflicts and negative emotions. Doing so alongside the legal process for a separation could aid with reaching a more favourable legal outcome to your separation.
Family Conflict Resolution Techniques
While some of us would love to resolve our own conflicts, we often lack the skills and training to reach a resolution suitable for all parties. Some general questions that you might struggle to answer are: Why would my partner agree with my resolution? How do I balance my interests with that of my partner in reaching a just resolution? How do I ensure that I am being fair and mindful to the concerns/interests of my partner and children? An easy answer to address these concerns could be to resolve your conflict by way of alternative dispute resolution methods: Family Mediation, Negotiation, and Collaborative Divorce.
If reconciliation by yourself is difficult, you could take advantage of having a Family Mediator help resolve the conflict between your family members. A Family Mediator is an independent and unbiased third party who is trained to help people resolve their conflicts. M. J. O’Nions lawyer and mediator assists in resolving disputes relating to marriage, cohabitation, separation or divorce. A good mediator believes in reaching a voluntary settlement that is sensitive to the interests of all parties involved.
Negotiation
Negotiation involves reaching an agreement and ultimately resolving any conflict by way of direct or indirect communication. Negotiation could be undertaken by mediators, lawyers, or, if possible, by the parties involved in a conflict.
Collaborative divorce is a peaceful and an equitable process for resolving issues between couples resulting from the end of their relationship without going to court. The process involves the parties and their lawyers signing a “Participation Agreement,” which sets out the terms of the negotiation, including that the parties will act in good faith and with integrity. The process continues with you, your lawyer, your spouse and his/her lawyer working together to reach a settlement that works for the both of you. Besides your family lawyer, other professionals such as divorce coaches, financial specialists or child specialists could also provide support.
If none of the above alternatives to dispute resolution is of assistance to your case, litigation is also available. Litigation is where an arbitrator or a judge makes a decision for you based on the facts and evidence provided. Litigation is adversarial, expensive and based on a win-lose methodology but is sometimes the only option, especially if your spouse refuses to consider any of the alternative dispute resolution methods.
We hope this article helps answer your question, “How Do You Handle Family Conflict?” Should you have any questions or require help with obtaining a resolution in your family law matter through alternative dispute resolution methods or through litigation please contact us at 604-449-7779.